What Sarah Silverman Says, Is True! (As Though You Had Any Reasons To Doubt Her In The First Place)

JESUS IS MAGIC!

Jesus rises from the cave wearing a rabbit suit — slays the warring factions, and brings forth a bevy of colored eggs (For Christians the egg is a symbol of Jesus' resurrection, as when they are cracked open they stand for the empty tomb. No-one actually knows when eggs were first used as symbols at festival times, but it was long before Jesus' time. (Or, around the same time they invented Mother's Day, Santa, Valentine's Day, etc. Thank you Hallmark!) Eggs were always thought to be special because although they do not seem alive, they have life within them especially at springtime when chicks hatch out. (Really, I didn't make ANY of that egg crap up!)) — forecasting six more weeks of Winter.

At least, that's the way I remember hearing about it. (Dates and stories may vary.)

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'You have probably noticed that the date for Resurrection Sunday ("Easter") varies considerably from one year to the next. This chosen date comes from a formula established by Roman Emperor Constantine the Great and the Council of Nicaea in A.D. 325. You can use the formula to verify the date for Resurrection Sunday each year.

First, find the vernal equinox, or first day of spring (about March 21-22), on a calendar that lists basic astronomical data. Then look for the next full moon, usually indicated in a corner box of the calendar. Resurrection Sunday will then fall on the following Sunday.

According to this rule, the latest possible date for Resurrection Sunday is April 25, next occurring in 2038. The earliest is March 22, in 2285. Most often, Resurrection Sunday comes during the first week of April.

For merchants, the changing date of Easter is inconvenient for their annual planning of sales and inventory. However, it is pleasing to realize that this special day is not determined by commerce but by the movements of the sun and moon. This agrees with the divinely ordained purpose of heavenly lights as markers for times and seasons. (Gen. 1:14).

Whatever! You know what? That mumbo-jumbo was barely worth copying and pasting let alone spending the time telling you where I even found it! So let's just forget we ever saw it and enjoy our candy and music (And six more weeks of Winter!).

Hoppy Easter, Peeps!

Mmmmmm, Peeps!

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White Rabbit
(Buy: Jefferson Airplane: Surrealistic Pillow)

Rise and Shine
(Buy: Polk Miller And The Old South Quartette: Music of the Old South)

Divine Intervention
(Buy: Matthew Sweet: Girlfriend)

The Golden Path
(Buy: The Chemical Brothers(with The Flaming Lips): Singles '93-'03 [Limited])

This Is The Worst Christmas Ever (or, You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Season's About You)

'Sad Jesus'
Paint-by-Number Art
Artist Unknown

I leave for my morning commute in the dark these days — because of the ever depressing Daylight Savings Time — with an ever growing number of people leaving The Rock for the mainland to do their holiday shopping. On the last ferry of the day (which at 3:15 PM, is also in the dark), the same people are back aboard — arms and carts overflowing with the days booty.

"Mushi, have you started your shopping yet?" someone will often ask.

I smile, carrying the same bag — holding my laptop, camera, a book, notepads, shuffle, thermos, and any other things I think I might need during the day — and answer, "We really don't celebrate the holidays with all the gifts and presents."

There is often not much to say after that. Some just smile awkwardly and walk a little faster ahead. Some understand and will say that they too, wish that they didn't have to do so much — but the kids wouldn't understand. One parent told me that every Christmas – regardless of how much was under the tree on the final day — after the final present will have been opened, his child will stand up and say, "This was the worst Christmas ever."

I think the holidays were meant for something else. Give it a shot.

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De La Soul: Me Myself And I
(Buy: De La Soul: 3 Feet High and Rising)

Lene Lovich: Lucky Number
(Buy: Lene Lovich: The Best of Lene Lovich)

Al Green: Love and Happiness
(Buy: Al Green's Greatest Hits)