Sunday, April 22, 2007

Word To Your Mother! (Earth, That Is)



Lookin' Good, Mama!

Brustbild Gaia
Paul Klee
1939

It's sunny out, tulips, crocus, and the hint of day lilies have finally made their way out of the soil (hopefully without the return of a snow covering), and it's Earth Day.

So, turn off all your shite, go outside, and enjoy the Earth (and, your day)!

•••

Whole Wide World
(Buy: Wreckless Eric: Wreckless Eric)

Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part 3
(Buy: Ian Dury & The Blockheads: Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll: Best Of Ian Dury & The Blockheads)

Friday, April 20, 2007

Say It Loud, Say It Proud! It's Here, Tain't Beer (Or, Twisted Tea, Unbelievably), Git You'st To It!


Although, I believe, Twisted Tea cans are still No. 1 in the preferred 'Roadside Trash of The Rock.' (As personally evidenced by the two dozen flattened cans I have picked up from this past seasons walk-abouts.)

The Fisherman's Friend
The Rock, Maine
April 2007

Some things just make you proud to be an American (Mainer). And some just make you cringe. This little bit of news, apparently almost as important as any other pressing global topics of the day, makes me do a little of both.

"When it comes to spirits, coffee brandy remains Mainers' libation of choice.
State sales figures for last year show that Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy remains by far the top-selling brand of liquor in the state, just as it's been every year for more than a decade. Nearly 994,000 bottles worth $11.9 million were sold in four different bottle sizes in Maine in 2006.

Allen's is so popular that its different bottle sizes rank first, second, sixth and ninth on the Maine Bureau of Alcoholic Beverages and Lottery Operations list of the top 25 alcoholic items sold last year. Allen's is the only brand that appears more than once in the top 10.

Coffee-flavored brandy is something of a New England specialty and is not well-known outside the region. Allen's is made by family-owned M.S. Walker Inc. of Somerville, Mass. (On who's site, you'd be hard pressed to find ANY mention of they're No. 1 seller in Maine, because they only deal with "Fine Wines & Spirits Since 1933.")

The dark-colored liquor that's been called "the champagne of Maine," while immensely popular, is also associated with the state's substance abuse troubles. (Really? Alcohol and substance abuse? Trouble?)

A decade ago, state Superior Court Judge Robert Crowley was quoted as saying the brand "is very prevalent in the criminals who come before me. I don't know whether brandy is more bang for your buck but it runs the gamut.

"I see it in bar fights, domestic assaults, drunk driving, and worse crimes."

— Associated Press, via MaineToday.

With the predicted price of bait (Which, apparently, Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy was once used to store. Although, highly unlikely.) and gas this year — and some of the lobstermen already forecasting the leanest lobster season in years — my guess is that we're in for another record-breaker next year! (And, maybe a few more "bar fights, domestic assaults, drunk driving, and worse crimes.")

One more cup of coffee (flavored brandy) for the road?

•••

(Sorry, couldn't locate any songs regaling (or even mentioning) Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy — yet!)

Java Jive
(Buy: The Ink Spots: The Ink Spots [Decca])

The Coffee Song
(Buy: Frank Sinatra: Ring-A-Ding Ding!)

If You've Got the Money (I've Got the Time)
(Buy: Merle Haggard: Roots: Volume 1)

North American Scum
(Buy: LCD Soundsystem: The Sound Of Silver)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

"Weather Like A Steven King Novel"


And that's a direct quote. (Although, the misspelling of the author's name is totally the fault of The Weather Channel, which, since yesterday, they have corrected.)

"It's Like The Storm Of The Century."
Ellis Island, Maine
April 16, 2007

What I assumed, when I first read this headline, was that the storm was going to be just like the one's we've seen a dozen times before, that it would go on forever, traveling into regions we know it should not be traveling — with some gratuitous violence and death, and littered with some clever, semi-appropriate lyrics from some 1980's ACDC songs that would hopefully fill in the blanks (and give it some Rock & Roll/Metal edge) — only to conclude with a flock of birds, a spider, or an exhausted, unbelievable sigh. But, I was wrong. (Or, was I? And who really cares? Because the weather, like Stephen King novels, will keep on coming. The sooner we realize that we have no control of it, the getter.)

But, it was the observation and reaction to these (the weather, not another book, yet, I don't think, but I'm probably wrong about that) events that got me going today.

There's no accounting for the stupidity of random clichéd quotes from behind the wheel of drivers (during a storm that is knocking down trees and electrical wires, and blowing roofs off of buildings). But, rest assured that the clichéd reporter standing in that same torrential downpour, will add a few winners of their own clichéd atmospheric alliterations to round out a stellar weather report. (You can watch it yourself, here.)

Or, you can enjoy an alliterated collection of clichéd climatic classics below.

•••

Stormy Weather
(Buy: Dinah Washington: Classic American Music: Les Plus Grandes Voix Du Jazz)

Stop Your Sobbing
(Buy: Jonathan Richman: This Is Where I Belong: The Songs of Ray Davies)

Something Stupid
(Buy: Robbie William with Nicole Kidman: Swing When You're Winning)

Super Stupid
(Buy: Funkadelic: Maggot Brain)

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Goodbye Jesus ...


and Smokin' Bunny, and Ernie Ball, and Lil' Reaper — and, especially you, little ASS sticker — I'll miss you most of all.

Blackie's Farewell
The day of his big trade-in.
2007

Cars are the Devil's henchmen (or women, if your so inclined to name yours likewise). But, we all have our cars to bear, and Blackie (a 1996 Volkswagen Jetta) was mine. He was a good car (as far as an inanimate object with a given name can be), and got me where I needed to be (most of the time). But, lately, he had been ailing (in ways that only large amounts of money could have cured), making the parting of our ways all too imminent.

Now, this would all be the makings of a sad story if, (A) We were talking about a human life (and not another friggin' automobile!), (B) He (Blackie) didn't sound like a Panzer tank barreling down the street (I don't even really know what the hell a Panzer tank sounds like, but, I imagine that it's really loud, don't you?), and (C) He was not the spawn of Satan. But, he had become (or, always was) all of the above.

But, he had great stickers. And that is what, in the end — with all the rust, the loudness, the erratic starting, and the overflow of flotsam and jetsam from too many a beach-combing adventure (That last part is entirely my fault! Sorry for blaming that one on you, Blackie.) — is what I will miss the most. He had great stickers. (One in particular was a personal favorite of mine, and a source of endless giggling for many of G's students. "Ms. G, why does Mushi's car have an 'ASS' sticker on it?")

Blackie is now out of my life. (G and I made the trek over to the mainland last weekend and did a little test-driving.) He has been traded in for a new vehicle. It's (Gender and name yet to be determined) different. And, black. (My only criteria, being the anti-motorhead I am. I mean, Jeez!, I don't even know why they make cars in any other color!). But, I'll get used to it. (And try to keep the sticks, stones, and beach debris out.)

Now, all I have to do is try to find some new stickers. I have a few in mind, but have a smaller area to work with with the new wheels. I'll have to pick wisely.

Any suggestions?

•••

Satan Is My Motor
(Buy: Cake: Prolonging The Magic)

Stickshifts And Safetybelts
(Buy: Cake: Fashion Nugget)

Swing Low, Sweet Cadillac
(Buy: Dizzie Gillespie: The Roots Of Acid Jazz)

Brand New Cadillac
(Buy: The Clash: London Calling)

Sunday, April 08, 2007

What Sarah Silverman Says, Is True! (As Though You Had Any Reasons To Doubt Her In The First Place)



JESUS IS MAGIC!

Jesus rises from the cave wearing a rabbit suit — slays the warring factions, and brings forth a bevy of colored eggs (For Christians the egg is a symbol of Jesus' resurrection, as when they are cracked open they stand for the empty tomb. No-one actually knows when eggs were first used as symbols at festival times, but it was long before Jesus' time. (Or, around the same time they invented Mother's Day, Santa, Valentine's Day, etc. Thank you Hallmark!) Eggs were always thought to be special because although they do not seem alive, they have life within them especially at springtime when chicks hatch out. (Really, I didn't make ANY of that egg crap up!)) — forecasting six more weeks of Winter.

At least, that's the way I remember hearing about it. (Dates and stories may vary.)

•••

'You have probably noticed that the date for Resurrection Sunday ("Easter") varies considerably from one year to the next. This chosen date comes from a formula established by Roman Emperor Constantine the Great and the Council of Nicaea in A.D. 325. You can use the formula to verify the date for Resurrection Sunday each year.

First, find the vernal equinox, or first day of spring (about March 21-22), on a calendar that lists basic astronomical data. Then look for the next full moon, usually indicated in a corner box of the calendar. Resurrection Sunday will then fall on the following Sunday.

According to this rule, the latest possible date for Resurrection Sunday is April 25, next occurring in 2038. The earliest is March 22, in 2285. Most often, Resurrection Sunday comes during the first week of April.

For merchants, the changing date of Easter is inconvenient for their annual planning of sales and inventory. However, it is pleasing to realize that this special day is not determined by commerce but by the movements of the sun and moon. This agrees with the divinely ordained purpose of heavenly lights as markers for times and seasons. (Gen. 1:14).


Whatever! You know what? That mumbo-jumbo was barely worth copying and pasting let alone spending the time telling you where I even found it! So let's just forget we ever saw it and enjoy our candy and music (And six more weeks of Winter!).

Hoppy Easter, Peeps!

Mmmmmm, Peeps!

•••

White Rabbit
(Buy: Jefferson Airplane: Surrealistic Pillow)

Rise and Shine
(Buy: Polk Miller And The Old South Quartette: Music of the Old South)

Divine Intervention
(Buy: Matthew Sweet: Girlfriend)

The Golden Path
(Buy: The Chemical Brothers(with The Flaming Lips): Singles '93-'03 [Limited])

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Chocolate Jesus H. Christ, On a KitKat® Cross! (OU* Status Uncertain)


Ceci n'est pas une pipe de chocolat. (This is not a chocolate pipe.)


The Treachery Of Images (La trahison des images)
René François Ghislain Magritte (1898 - 1967)

•••

And this, is not Jesus. But, it is chocolate!

Let's try to keep a lid on our outrage. (I mean, jeezuz, it's not like Resurrection Eggs or anything that bad. Although, that Crucifixion Kit, hmmmm.)

*OU: Orthodox Union, of course!

•••

Chocolate Jesus
(Buy: Tom Waits: Mule Variations)

I'm Going Straight to Heaven
(Buy: MC 900ft. Jesus with DJ Zero: Hell With The Lid Off)

Thursday, April 05, 2007

You're The Bomb!



Miss Atomic Bomb (Lee Merlin), 1957
Photograph by Donald English at the Sands Hotel, May 24, 1957.
The identity of the woman has been in some dispute.
(But, a December 2004 Department of Energy publication identified her as a Copa showgirl, Lee Merlin. By accounts, so far, she has yet to be found.)

•••

YOU'RE THE BOMB!

That's right, YOU!

YOU! Who have come back here day after day, looking for new music, and finding nothing (For the last 20 days!).

YOU! Who, for some reason or another, have still come back to see new (old) pictures that I have found in old boxes and folders laying around the house (that for some reason, still undisclosed, had not found their way up on the site for — did I mention? — 20 days!).

Well, YOU!, I'm back! And I promise, it won't happen again! (For all that that's worth — from a person you have never met, and most likely never will.)

•••

"Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do."

Major T. J. "King" Kong, from Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb (1964)

•••

You Dropped A Bomb On Me
(Buy: The Gap Band: The Gap Band IV)

Bomb Squad
(Buy: Motocade: Into The Fall)

Sex Bomb
(Buy: Tom Jones: Reload)