Tuesday, April 17, 2007

"Weather Like A Steven King Novel"


And that's a direct quote. (Although, the misspelling of the author's name is totally the fault of The Weather Channel, which, since yesterday, they have corrected.)

"It's Like The Storm Of The Century."
Ellis Island, Maine
April 16, 2007

What I assumed, when I first read this headline, was that the storm was going to be just like the one's we've seen a dozen times before, that it would go on forever, traveling into regions we know it should not be traveling — with some gratuitous violence and death, and littered with some clever, semi-appropriate lyrics from some 1980's ACDC songs that would hopefully fill in the blanks (and give it some Rock & Roll/Metal edge) — only to conclude with a flock of birds, a spider, or an exhausted, unbelievable sigh. But, I was wrong. (Or, was I? And who really cares? Because the weather, like Stephen King novels, will keep on coming. The sooner we realize that we have no control of it, the getter.)

But, it was the observation and reaction to these (the weather, not another book, yet, I don't think, but I'm probably wrong about that) events that got me going today.

There's no accounting for the stupidity of random clichéd quotes from behind the wheel of drivers (during a storm that is knocking down trees and electrical wires, and blowing roofs off of buildings). But, rest assured that the clichéd reporter standing in that same torrential downpour, will add a few winners of their own clichéd atmospheric alliterations to round out a stellar weather report. (You can watch it yourself, here.)

Or, you can enjoy an alliterated collection of clichéd climatic classics below.

•••

Stormy Weather
(Buy: Dinah Washington: Classic American Music: Les Plus Grandes Voix Du Jazz)

Stop Your Sobbing
(Buy: Jonathan Richman: This Is Where I Belong: The Songs of Ray Davies)

Something Stupid
(Buy: Robbie William with Nicole Kidman: Swing When You're Winning)

Super Stupid
(Buy: Funkadelic: Maggot Brain)

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