Goodbye Jesus ...

and Smokin' Bunny, and Ernie Ball, and Lil' Reaper — and, especially you, little ASS sticker — I'll miss you most of all.

Blackie's Farewell
The day of his big trade-in.
2007

Cars are the Devil's henchmen (or women, if your so inclined to name yours likewise). But, we all have our cars to bear, and Blackie (a 1996 Volkswagen Jetta) was mine. He was a good car (as far as an inanimate object with a given name can be), and got me where I needed to be (most of the time). But, lately, he had been ailing (in ways that only large amounts of money could have cured), making the parting of our ways all too imminent.

Now, this would all be the makings of a sad story if, (A) We were talking about a human life (and not another friggin' automobile!), (B) He (Blackie) didn't sound like a Panzer tank barreling down the street (I don't even really know what the hell a Panzer tank sounds like, but, I imagine that it's really loud, don't you?), and (C) He was not the spawn of Satan. But, he had become (or, always was) all of the above.

But, he had great stickers. And that is what, in the end — with all the rust, the loudness, the erratic starting, and the overflow of flotsam and jetsam from too many a beach-combing adventure (That last part is entirely my fault! Sorry for blaming that one on you, Blackie.) — is what I will miss the most. He had great stickers. (One in particular was a personal favorite of mine, and a source of endless giggling for many of G's students. "Ms. G, why does Mushi's car have an 'ASS' sticker on it?")

Blackie is now out of my life. (G and I made the trek over to the mainland last weekend and did a little test-driving.) He has been traded in for a new vehicle. It's (Gender and name yet to be determined) different. And, black. (My only criteria, being the anti-motorhead I am. I mean, Jeez!, I don't even know why they make cars in any other color!). But, I'll get used to it. (And try to keep the sticks, stones, and beach debris out.)

Now, all I have to do is try to find some new stickers. I have a few in mind, but have a smaller area to work with with the new wheels. I'll have to pick wisely.

Any suggestions?

•••

Satan Is My Motor
(Buy: Cake: Prolonging The Magic)

Stickshifts And Safetybelts
(Buy: Cake: Fashion Nugget)

Swing Low, Sweet Cadillac
(Buy: Dizzie Gillespie: The Roots Of Acid Jazz)

Brand New Cadillac
(Buy: The Clash: London Calling)