What You Want And What You Get

What you want is Magic. What you get is a Madison Avenue shill.

Shammy Claus
Coca Cola ad
December 1951

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree,
For me.
been an awful good girl,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,
Light blue.
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna yacht,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,
The deed
To a platinum mine,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,
And checks.
Sign your 'X' on the line,
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,
A ring.
I don't mean on the phone,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

•••

The Harmony Grits: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
(Buy: The Harmony Grits: The Best of Cool Yule)

Eartha Kitt: Santa Baby
(Buy: She's So Good: The Best of Eartha Kitt)

Elvis Presley: Santa Bring My Baby Back (To Me)
(Buy: Elvis Presley: Christmas Album)

Go Home Productions: Girl Wants (To Say Goodbye To) Rock And Roll
(Buy: Mark Vidler/Go Home Productions releases)

Joe Jackson: It's Different for Girls
(Buy: Joe Jackson: I'm The Man)

Les Paul and Johnny Rzeznik: All I Want Is You (U2 Cover)
(Buy: Les Paul & Friends: American Made, World Played)

Michel Polnareff: La Poupee Qui Fait Non
(Buy: Michel Polnareff: Le Meilleur de M. Polnareff)

Miles Davis: Blue Xmas (To Whom It May Concern)
(Buy: Jingle Bell Jazz)

Buzzcocks: What Do I Get?
(Buy: Buzzcocks: Inventory)

Tommy Guerrero: Getting It Together (Featuring Lyrics Born)
(Buy: Tommy Guerrero: Soul Food Taqueria)

This Is The Worst Christmas Ever (or, You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Season's About You)

'Sad Jesus'
Paint-by-Number Art
Artist Unknown

I leave for my morning commute in the dark these days — because of the ever depressing Daylight Savings Time — with an ever growing number of people leaving The Rock for the mainland to do their holiday shopping. On the last ferry of the day (which at 3:15 PM, is also in the dark), the same people are back aboard — arms and carts overflowing with the days booty.

"Mushi, have you started your shopping yet?" someone will often ask.

I smile, carrying the same bag — holding my laptop, camera, a book, notepads, shuffle, thermos, and any other things I think I might need during the day — and answer, "We really don't celebrate the holidays with all the gifts and presents."

There is often not much to say after that. Some just smile awkwardly and walk a little faster ahead. Some understand and will say that they too, wish that they didn't have to do so much — but the kids wouldn't understand. One parent told me that every Christmas – regardless of how much was under the tree on the final day — after the final present will have been opened, his child will stand up and say, "This was the worst Christmas ever."

I think the holidays were meant for something else. Give it a shot.

•••

De La Soul: Me Myself And I
(Buy: De La Soul: 3 Feet High and Rising)

Lene Lovich: Lucky Number
(Buy: Lene Lovich: The Best of Lene Lovich)

Al Green: Love and Happiness
(Buy: Al Green's Greatest Hits)