Fun's Fun, But That's Not Fun!

Red Squirrel
Rockport, Maine
December 2004

"Fun's Fun, But That's Not Fun!"

You know what, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean, but Bernard tells me his Moms always used to say that to him when he did something he wasn't supposed to be doing. I guess if you can attach a mother voice it, it starts to make some sense. Any way, this post has little to do with that.

I hit a squirrel today — with the car.

I don't know if you've ever hit anything with a car before, but there's this sick feeling you (I) get in the pit of my stomach when something like this happens. (Although, this has happened only one other time before. But I remember that feeling. I do not like it.) I'm not one of those people who sees squirrels (or seagulls, or pigeons, for that matter) and has one of those little 'I wish I could kill those little effers! Rats with tails (or wings — in the case of seagulls and pigeons)! That's what they are!' moments — freaking the person, that thought they knew who you were — out just a little more then maybe you ever wanted. (Or they wanted to be, by somebody they thought they knew.) You know what I mean?

The squirrel lived. I think. I saw it run off to the side of the road and into the woods before I turned the next corner. I want to belief that I just grazed the little thing. I hope I'm right.

Drive carefully, and love the little animals. Outie!

•••

Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers: Roadrunner
(Buy: Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers: Roadrunner, Roadrunner: The Beserkley Collection)
Joan Jett: Roadrunner
(Buy: Fit To Be Tied: Great Hits of Joan Jett and The Blackhearts)

Let It Snow (No, Really, I'm Ready)

Roadside Snow Angel
Rockport, Maine
March 22, 2001

It snowed on The Rock today! It didn't stick, and if you weren't looking out the window for the 10 or 12 minutes it was coming down, then you probably wouldn't even have believed it (although it looked like snow all day — So why wouldn't you believe it?)

It's time to 'Wax the Board', if you know what I mean. No, literally, I mean it's really time to wax the board. Before you know it, the hills will be covered in some fluffy (read: icy), white snow — and it will be time to ride. Get ready!

•••

Robbie Williams: Angels
(Buy: Robbie Williams: Life Thru a Lens)

Working At Home

Rosamond Wolff Purcell, Teeth Pulled by Peter the Great. From 'Finders, Keepers: Eight Collectors', 1992.

The home dentistry of Peter the Great
Date Unknown

I'll just stick to doing some layout work on the computer today — but, hey, does that tooth feel loose?

(See more of Rosamond Purcell's work as it appears in the current issue of National Geographic illustrating Carl Zimmer's article on evolution, titled "A Fin Is A Limb Is A Wing.")

•••

Dust Brothers: Homework
Dust Brothers: Medula Oblongata
(Buy: The Dust Brothers: 'Fight Club' Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Little Boxes

Squirrel Shack
The Rock
November 2006

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there's doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

Words and music by Malvina Reynolds.
©1962 Schroder Music Company, renewed 1990.

•••

Malvina Reynolds: Little Boxes
(Buy: Malvina Reynolds: Ear To The Ground)

Dance! Chicken Dance!

Haiku! Chicken Haiku!

Orange feet in soil,
Scratching and pecking for grit.
Chickens in the sun.
Chicken!

As the annual 'Feast of Overindulgence' approaches, the turkeys that will have made it through the first massacre can rest a little easier (until the Christmas slaughter, that is. Get your orders in now.)

But that reminded me of a story our neighbor, the little child in this picture, told us the other night. She said that when her parents went 'out to haul', they would put her in the pen with the chickens until they'd return. She said they would peck at her feet until she danced — all day long. It was this experience that made her want to become a professional dancer.

(Please, don't tell me that you believed any of that. That is just wrong.)

•••

Brave Combo: The Chicken Dance
(Buy: Brave Combo: Group Dance Epidemic)

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

Tuesday Morning
The Rock
November 21, 2006

A friend lent me her mainland car (everybody's got one here, and yet another reason why you have to love this island) as I enjoyed another day in lost key ignorance. Plugged into my week of escapist 80's music, all was right with the world.

Another friend keeps telling me his Mother always said 'Look where they are, not where they aren't.' I keep telling him to shut up. When I got back to The Rock tonight, G was holding the keys in her hand.

They were where they were, not where they weren't.

Shut up.

•••

Black Box: Everybody, Everybody
(Buy: Black Box: Dreamland)

(And, oh yeah, after weeks of frustrating file posting — my EZArchive files are finally back on board! Enjoy!)

F.T.W. Monday's

Bitchin' Chevy
Owls Head, Maine
March 2001

I woke up pretty easy this morning. Made coffee. Ate breakfast. Caught the weather, and jumped in the shower. And then all hell broke loose.

Couldn't find my car keys (for the mainland ride to work), although I looked until the last minute before I thought I could before I would miss the ferry. Got to the terminal with less then a minute to spare — hair wet. It's 20 effin'-something degrees this morning. Fortunately, Big K (and his car) are on the boat, too. He drives me down to work when we get to the other side.

The end of my work day comes too quick with the new winter ferry schedule (which sucks, by the way!) — and I call a cab to get me to the boat.

The taxi shows up at 3:05 — the ferry leaves at 3:15. We are 15 minutes away from the terminal (without traffic). The driver is a slacker. Gum-smacking, cell phone chatting it up with his girlfriend/wife while I watch the digital clock on the dashboard countdown. At 3:12, we are farther away then is comfortable for me and I start to figure out who I am going to call — after paying this shitehead 10 dollars for getting me to the boat after it leaves — for a place to stay tonight.

Surprisingly, he hangs up on his gf/w and calls a fellow worker at the terminal. "Hey, I got a guy that needs to get the ferry. Will you tell them we'll be right there." And we get there two minutes later. And the boat is still there. I jump out, give my slacker friend 15 bucks, and then go sit in the cabin, until I fall asleep — trying not to think about where the hell my keys are.

Which, at this writing, I have still not found. (But I am not mad — because I have this music in my head — and it won't let me go there. Go figure.)

•••

ABBA: S.O.S
(Buy: ABBA)

David Byrne: I Wanna Dance With Somebody
(Buy: Anything by David Byrne: It's all good!)

Riders In Rapture

Friday Evening Ferry
November 17, 2006

Red sky at night, blah, blah, blah.

My cold is (mostly) gone and I'm just glad it stopped raining. By the look of the clouds above — tomorrow looks like it might be a psychelectrodelica type of day. But, I'd just settle for a little sun.

•••

Go Home Productions: Psychelectrodelica(2003)
(Download: Go Home Productions: Psychelectrodelica(2003))

Go Home Productions: Rapture Riders (Blondie vs. The Doors)
(Buy: Go Home Productions: Rapture Riders)

Sick and Tired

Important meeting doodle.
January 2000

I'm too sick and tired today to even find a picture. So, here's a 7 year old doodle and an even older tune. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

•••

Butthole Surfers: Who Was In My Room Last Night?
(Buy: Music from the Motion Picture: Love & A .45)

Music To Watch Birds By

Babette and Maneki Neko, birdwatching.
September 2006

Let me make one thing clear — I do not, in any way, condone the use of any type of illegal substances, but — I love the cats.

•••

Brazilian Girls: Pussy
(Buy: Brazilian Girls)

James Taylor Quartet: Music to Watch Girls By
(Buy: Lounge-A-Palooza)

Boat Friends

November 2006

•••

Black Moth Super Rainbow: Boatfriend
(Buy: Black Moth Super Rainbow: Falling Through A Field)

Big Blue

Big Blue Truck
The Rock
November 2006

Word on the street (equals 'News', on The Rock) has it that a group of men calling themselves "The 4 Fossils" are in the process of working out a plan to cut granite out here (once again). If the four 'fossils' names I heard are same ones who think that they're going to be throwing the big stones around the quarry, they'll need a big strong man to give them a hand.

I suggest, my brother Sylvest.

•••

The Groggers: Big Strong Man
(Buy: The Groggers)

The Ghost of Spendings Past

Poole's Hill Cemetery
Ebenezer Arey: Died April 28, 1874
November 1, 2006

'Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and named it Ebenezer; for he said, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." So the Philistines were subdued and did not again enter the territory of Israel; the hand of the LORD was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel. The towns that the Philistines had taken from Israel were restored to Israel, from Ekron to Gath; and Israel recovered their territory from the hand of the Philistines. There was peace also between Israel and the Amorites.' (1 Samuel 7:12-14 NRSV)

The site was not named Ebenezer until after the Israelites finally defeated the Philistines, and took back the Ark of the Covenant. To commemorate the victorious battle, Samuel set up a marker-stone, named it 'Stone of Help,' and thereby the site became identified with the stone and with the place where God’s miraculous help aided them in their victory over the Philistines. The stone, standing up-right, was called 'Ebenezer,' and the site naturally took on that name as well.

The word 'Ebenezer' comes from Hebrew, and is actually two words pronounced together: 'Even Ezer.' Its literal meaning is 'Stone of Help.'

The Ebenezer, or 'stone of help,' is a reminder of God’s Holy Presence and Divine aid. Spiritually and theologically speaking. An 'Ebenezer' can be nearly anything that reminds us of God’s presence and help: the Bible, the Sacramental Elements, a cross, a picture – those things which serve as reminders of God’s love, assistance, and Real Presence.

The 'Ebenezer' we have all come to identify with as the querulous miser of the holiday season really doesn't fit the mold as a "Stone of Help.' No, that would be me. Within less then 24 hours before the last trick-or-treater left my doorstep, the Xmas holiday commercials started up on the tube.

That cantankerous naysayer of the overblown commercialization of the impending pseudo-secular holidaze? Let's call that person 'Mushi.'

•••

Desmond Dekker: The Israelites
(Buy: Desmond Dekker: Rude Boy Ska)

Two, No. One, Maybe.

Boat Thinking (Isn't Always Constructive)
The end of a day.
November 2006

I'm sitting two seats behind the next random county officer to come out to The Rock for an evening of law enforcement fun, and I stare at the back of his head. It has been a pretty long day — one of those days that takes more out of you then you were willing to give. I have my music plugged to my ears and I'm trying not to think.

And then I notice that the hair at the center of his head is patterned in a clockwise direction. Now I'm starting to think. This will do nobody any good. And I think: Does the hair of people born below the Equator grow in a counterclockwise pattern? Do I care enough to really wonder? Will I ever look it up? The answer to two of the three questions, for sure, is no. But I (think I will) take my camera out and take the picture anyway.

•••

Brian Eno: And Then So Clear
(Buy: Brian Eno: Another Day On Earth)

The Divine Comedy: Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World
(Buy: The Divine Comedy: Victory For The Comic Muse)

You Are A Winner

Our (if you live on a rock-like island in Maine, that is) 2006 Winners!
The day after Election Day
November 8, 2006

I was in the local store the other day when someone stepped up to the counter and handed the clerk one of their lottery tickets. 'You are a winner', the machine spoke out, in its best Steven Hawking imitation computer voice. I thought that maybe everybody should hear that same response as they walked through the door. I know I'd dig it.

Well, these fine people (above, from left to right) can dig it. They are, US Senate, United States Senator, Olympia J. Snowe (R); Governor John E. Baldacci (D); US Representative, 1st District, Thomas H. Allen (D); US Representative, 2ND District, Michael H. Michaud (D); and House District 36, Hannah M. Pingree (D).

Now, I was thinking that, with the new influx of (D)'s in the win category this year, that maybe the first thing they could do is to take a vote and take the elephant for their mascot. I mean, it is a lot cooler then that donkey (or if you have a better idea, you just let me know). After that — do what you do people — I voted for you. I trust you.

•••

Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble: The House Is Rockin'
(Buy: Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble: Greatest Hits)

U2: Elevation (Tomb Raider Mix)
(Buy: U2: Elevation EP

Know Your Rights (and Vote!)

friedman and yapalater
Ohio State University
Student Senate President and Vice-President
1971

If you do nothing else today — vote!

It'll work for you (at least that's what they tell me) today, just like it did for my cousin Jeff, 35 years ago (letting his freak flag fly, baby).

•••

Talking Heads: Don't Worry About The Government
(Buy: Talking Heads: 77)

The Clash: Know Your Rights
(Buy: The Clash: Combat Rock)

Mike Watt: Against The 70's
(Buy: Mike Watt: Ball-Hog Or Tugboat?)

Sometimes A Horn, Is Not Just A Horn

Bowcraft Amusement Park
Route 22, Scotch Plains, NJ
1998

Pastor Ted Haggard is the president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals (NAE), the largest evangelical group in America. He is also founder and senior pastor of the 14,000-member
New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He formed and serves as the president of both the Association of Life-Giving Churches, a network of local churches, and World Prayer Team, the only real-time global prayer
network.

'This is it
It's time for u to go to the wire
U will hit
Cuz u got the burnin' desire'

He graduated from Oral Roberts University in 1978 and has received two honorary Doctor of Divinity degrees. He served as the American Vice-President for World Missions for Jesus, a German missions organization, and served as an Associate Pastor at Bethany World Prayer Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, which helped him plant New Life Church in 1985. Haggard and his wife, Gayle, have five children.

'U got the horn so why don't u blow it
U are fine (Fine)
U're filthy cute and baby u know it'

Ted Haggard (whose name is now starting to ironically starting to mirror his private life), one of the nation’s most influential Christian leaders, also admitted today that he had purchased methamphetamine from a gay escort in Denver — but denied that he ever had sex with the man.

'Cream
Get on top
Cream
U will cop
Cream
Don't u stop
Cream
Sh-boogie bop'

'Cream' lyrics ©Prince

•••

Prince: Cream
(Buy: Prince: Diamonds And Pearls)

Grace Jones: Private Life
(Buy: Grace Jones: Warm Leatherette)

A Good Day To Die

Ferry Terminal Ramp
The Other Side
March 10, 2003

No, really, this was the day that I thought it was over. Just for a second — but even for a second, it's not a good thought to have in your head.

On the island side, the guy in the photo walked into the cabin with his shotgun (or whatever kind of gun it is — I don't know guns from nothin') and, without saying anything to anyone, sat in the front seat with his back to all. I wasn't even supposed to be on this ferry. I missed the first boat and caught the second to get in a few hours. And now I was on the boat with five other passengers — one, bearing arms.

Short story shorter — I lived to tell the tale — but had to get a picture to show my friends and family or they would not have believed it. When the ferry docked, everybody let the 'Rifleman' exit first, keeping their distance (and I'm sure, like me, breathing a bit easier). I took out my camera and snapped this shot like I was Michael Moore hound-dogging Charlton Heston.

L7: Stuck Here Again
(Buy: L7: Hungry For Stink)

L7: Riding With A Movie Star
(Buy: L7: Hungry For Stink)