· · · — — — · · · Same Old Shite (Or, iPick-A-Little, iTalk-A-Little Less)

"Yes, I'm just rowing up to the dock (in my floppy 'I'm on vacation, and I don't care how stupid I look on a cell phone rowing a boat' hat on) now. Where are you? Oh, yeah, I can see you from here."

Nauti-call Lymie
Rockland Harbor
June 29, 2007

•••

I'm not sure if you've heard anything about this yet but, apparently, Apple has come out with some type of new 'phone' thingie, and people (which so far includes, the media, anybody owning stocks in Apple, and maybe that tool in the picture above, although my guess would be that he is PC all the way) are pretty darn giddy.

So, here's the deals, as I think I understand them. The iPhone itself, is only about $500. to $600. depending on how much money you have, and how much memory you require. (But, orders are limited to two per customer, so please, don't get greedy!)

You'll also be required to sign up for a two-year AT&T service agreement and an activation fee (and are subject to AT&T credit approval). The minimum plan prices out at $59.99 per month (or, $1,439.76 over the two-year required contract), not including any service charges (and, being AT&T, you know there will be plenty), which will only 450 minutes (which is only 7.5 hours. But who talks more than that on the phone in a month?) of talk time a month.

Intrigued yet?

Well, if you're coming out to The Rock, don't be — because your iPhone (or, cellphone for that matter) won't work here. (That would be another one of those great things about living out on The Rock.)

•••

Connection
(Buy: Elastica: Elastica)

Telephone Line
(Buy: Electric Light Orchestra: A New World Record)

Call Me
(Buy: Nancy Wilson: Cocktail Mix, Vol. 2: Martini Madness)

The Call Up
(Buy: The Clash: Clash On Broadway [Disc 3])

Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little
(Buy: Hermione Gingold & The Biddys: The Music Man [Original Soundtrack])

Downtown (If You Know What I Think I Mean)

Before the Great Disneyfication (But, I'll save THEM for another day.)

Times Square, New York City
1997
Photograph © Spencer Tunick

•••

"You can always go downtown."

•••

Downtown
(What? Do I have it in Deutsch, you say? Sure! Petuland Uber Alles!)
Downtown (Deutsch)
(Buy: Petula Clark: Downtown)

Downtown
(Buy: The San Remo Golden Strings: Hungry For Love)

Downtown
(Buy: Booker T. And The M.G.'s: Soul Men)

Downtown
((I don't know why you'd want to) Buy: Anything by: Mrs. Miller)

(Well, that song just about put me off 'Downtown' forever, until Peaches. But, I think she's singing about a different town.)

Downtown
(Buy: Peaches: Impeach My Bush)

And finally, this from Emma Bunton (aka Baby Spice). Oh, yes, it sucks as bad as you think it might — and you probably won't make it through the whole video (and I strongly suggest you don't!) — but the hand gestures in the first 25 seconds make it worth it. (I think I know what she's talking about. Or, not.)



(Sorry. I intended this post to go in a totally different direction from yesterday's — that is, until the end, when it took on a life of its own — then, it was all 'Downtown' from there.)

What's That Word I Was Thinking Of?

We don't need no education!

Chrissie Hynde, Vivienne Westwood, and Jordan
SEX, 430 King's Road, London
Any time in the 70's

•••

Oh, yeah, that's the one.

•••

Ever Fallen In Love
(Buy: Fine Young Cannibals: Something Wild: Original Soundtrack)

Temptation (Single Mix)
(Buy: New Order: Something Wild: Original Soundtrack)

Gary's Got A Boner
(Buy: The Replacements: Let It Be)

Add It Up
(Buy: Violent Femmes: Violent Femmes)

What Do I Get?
(Buy: Buzzcocks: Operators Manual)

Shine On Your DailyLove® Light (To A Power Rawk Ballad)

Flame On!

George Blaisdell
Inventor of the Zippo® lighter

•••

Ahhh, the power ballad. Was there no quicker way for your favorite 'rawkers' to totally become your least favorite? (Rhetorical question. The answer is a definite, "NO!")

But, hey, I thought all of these bands sucked before their big hair got all wrapped up around their hearts.

'I gotta take a little time,
A little time to think things over.
I better read between the lines,
In case I need it when I'm older.'

Oh, wait, I love this one! Lighters up!

•••

Without You
(Buy: Mötley Crüe: Dr. Feelgood (Remastered))

November Rain
(Buy: Guns N' Roses: Use Your Illusion: 1)

Every Rose Has Its Thorn
(Buy: Poison: Open Up and Say...Ahh!)

I Remember You
(Buy: Skid Row: Skid Row)

Love Hurts
(Buy: Nazareth: Hair of the Dog)

And, finally ...


Can you just imagine the sing-a-long with this one, no doubt, the final encore of every one of their concerts after this song came out.

Argghh!

I DailyLove® You — You Damn, Dirty Ape!

Taylor and Zira sitting in a tree ... (Beware of the dinosaurs!)

Man + Monkey = True Love (4VR)

•••

Evolution vs. Magic. Is there a more divisive topic? I think not.

"Theres a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
Theres a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder."

No matter what the folks over at the new — state-of-the-art 60,000 square foot 'bringing the pages (you remember those passages about dinosaurs, right?) of the Bible to life' (and , quite honestly, amazingly well funded for such a hair-brained endeavor) — Creation Museum might say, they're wrong.

But, as always, I welcome your opinions. Pass the bananas, please.

•••

Banana Ghost
(Buy: Man Man: Six Demon Bag)

Monkey Spanner
(Buy: Dave and Ansil Collins: Double Barrel 7")

Monkey Gone to Heaven
(Buy: Pixies: Doolittle)

To be fair, here's one for the other team. (Listen at your own risk!)

Stairway to Heaven
(Buy: Pat Boone: In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy)

(Beware: Linking to Mr. Boone's website — also, at your own risk. No, really! Sitting through Boonie's Barry White-wannabee release 'Hopeless Romantic' may cause an aversion to any romantic feelings. You've been warned. Now, you have to go listen to it, don't you?)

Druids With Third Eyes and Pagans With Rings — These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Druids, drummers, pagans and partygoers welcomed the sun Thursday as it rose above the prehistoric monument on the longest day of the year. (Hey! Are those regulation Summer Solstice mylar balloons?)

Summer Solstice
Stonehenge, England
Carl de Souza/AFP — Getty Images

•••

Druids and pagans! Don't even get me started.

But — starting today - the summertime rolls.

•••

Summertime Rolls
(Buy: Janes Addiction: Nothing's Shocking)

A, To The B, To The C You Later!

So long, Crabby!

Miss Crabtree with the children.
Last day of school.

•••

All of you that live with, or know, a teacher, will appreciate — as much as they do — that today (on The Rock, at least) is the last day of school.

On that note, here's some sugary-sweet loveliness to guide you into the Summer!

•••

Sky Blue
Ice Cold Lemonade
A B & C
Who Needs Wings To Fly?
If You Want To Sing Out Sing Out (From Harold & Maude)
(Buy: Death By Chocolate: Death By Chocolate)

The G8's Got Nothing On The Four

The Oxfam G8 'Big Heads' dress up as Pinocchio, to push home the point that the leaders' noses grow longer by the day, as they break the promises they made in 2005.

G8 Summit 2007 Heiligendamm
To Hell With Poverty — Next Time.
© 2007 Craig Owen/Oxfam

•••

To hell with poverty.
The check will arrive.
It's in the post again.

•••

Not Great Men
Damaged Goods
To Hell With Poverty
(Buy: Gang Of Four: Return The Gift)

Orchestrated Chaos

Tesla Urn, 2004
Marina Abramović
'Tesla Urn' is dedicated to the Serbian-American scientist Nikola Tesla, who made some ground-breaking inventions that are still of importance for us today, especially in the area of electric engineering. In the video, Marina Abramovic holds her hands over the urn that stores the ashes of Tesla (normally kept at the Nikola Tesla Museum in Belgrade, Serbia) in an attempt to absorb their energy.

•••

Welcome to the Balkanization of America.

I only hope that you can wrap your hands around this selection of music, in an attempt to absorb all of its energy.

(You can read more about Marina Abramović here, and see more of her work, here.)
•••

When the Trickster Starts A-Poking (Bordello Kind of Guy)
(Buy: Gogol Bordello/: Multi Kontra Culti Vs. Irony)

Jupanese Ju Ju
(Buy: Hungry March Band : Critical Brass)

Šiki, šiki baba
(Buy: Kočani Orkestar: Alone At My Wedding)

Warsaw
(Buy: Luminescent Orchestrii: Too Hot To Sleep)

El Zopilote Mojado
(Buy: DeVotchKa: Curse Your Little Heart)

Adir Adrimi (Featuring Victoria Hanna)
Bulgarian Chicks (Featuring V. Tomova. M. Alexiava)
(Buy: Balkan Beat Box: Balkan Beat Box)

Isle au, Hey, Haut

Life like an Eric Hopkins painting.

Isle au Haut
On top of some rocky hill.
June 10, 2007

•••

About ten of us took a glorious trip out to the beautiful island of Isle au Haut (Pronounced AISLE-a-hoe — not EEL-a-hoe, not EEL-a-who, just AISLE-a-hoe — and if you say it any other way, you're saying it wrong!) yesterday. You could not have asked for nicer weather, which made for an even nicer day. Hiking, picnic, and, in the end (of a I don't know how far a hike), everyone was laden with plastic bottles, bouys, and miscellaneous flotsam and jetsam which we dumped into the back of a (fortunately parked) park ranger truck at the end of our trip.

Two of the Best Quotes of the Day:
When one of the two 5th graders who came on the hike with us, picked up a L-shaped piece of driftwood, held it under his arm like a machine gun, and said,

"Say 'Hello' to my little friend!"

(It is unclear, if he has actually ever seen 'Scarface', or just picked up on which is now, a classic line. Either way, his father was thoroughly teased about it.)

The same child, a mile or two later, was walking with myself, another adult, and a classmate of his, when they were noticing some of the bigger tree roots crossing the path. His friend made a comment, which I missed, when 'Lil' Scarface' said,

"If you don't keep moving, you'll root like those trees."

True enough, brother. Keep it moving.

(Eric Hopkins beautiful island paintings can be seen in just about every house on The Rock. For many, who have known him for years, they got his work quite inexpensively when he was just starting out. For others (summer folk), they paid for it well, as his work became a symbol of their connectedness to the islands. For the late-comers, who still love his work, but can't afford it any more, there are posters and prints, or the wonderful selection of packages of organic soils and fertilizers from Coast of Maine Organic Products, Inc.)

•••

In The Garden Of Earthly Delights
(Buy: Combustible Edison: The Impossible World)

Mr E's Beautiful Blues
(Buy: Eels (pronounced EELS, not AISLES): Road Trip Soundtrack)

Mr. Blue Sky
(Buy: Electric Light Orchestra: Out Of The Blue)

Rock The Boat
(Buy: Hues Corporation: Soul Hits of the 70s: Didn't It Blow Your Mind)

Ru Paul 2008: Hope For America

Ladies and gentlemen, your new President of the United States.

Ru Paul
'Reworking It' for a new America.
2007

•••

When I first noticed the recent searches on line for 'Ron Paul', I just assumed that she had come out with a new album, or just another celebrity checking into rehab. But, boy, was I wrong. Imagine my surprise, when I found out that this 'Paul' was not only a Republican, but one of the first supporters of Ronald Reagan in 1976 (A sure fire way for other Rebs to start loving you.), and running for president in 2008.

Anyway, to say the least, I don't care for him. (Although I do find some strange attraction to him due to his uncanny resemblance to the narrating postman from the Rankin & Bass television holiday special 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.' But, not enough to vote for him.)

My votes for Ru, every time.

•••

Black Barbie
(Buy: Jahcoozi: Pure Breed Mongrel)

Barbie Girl
(Buy: Aqua: Aquarium)

And, just because Ru has finally decided on her campaign song for 2008:


Hillary could learn a thing or two from this.

Work it, Ms. President!

I Don't Give A Damn About Her (Or, Her Husband's) Reputation!

My American Idol — Saint Joan of Art

The Honorary Ms. Joan Jett
Warped Tour 2006
July 14, 2006
Nampa, Idaho
Photograph ©Otto Kitsinger|Performance Photography

•••

Just don't ask me to vote — for this!

"Your votes narrowed down the list of choices, and we added your top suggestions. Vote in the final round of our campaign song contest — and don't miss the latest video."

What is this from? The latest call to the best use of cellphones for placing your votes with Dancing With the Stars or American Idol? Well, sort of. You see — in the great tradition of taking mediocre songs and hoping to personify them into a national call to action (i.e. The hellacious pairings of Bill Clinton & Fleetwood Mac: 'Don't Stop', Arnold Schwarzenegger and that pitiful Twisted Sister, Dee Snider: 'We're Not Gonna Take It', Ronald Reagan using 'Born in the USA', or George W. Bush and Van Halen's 'Right Now'!? Holy Shite! These might easiest be the worst songs ever done by any of those bands! You can read more about this here.) — Ms. Clinton would like you to select her 'song'.

You know, just when you thought that a woman could step up and turn the White House — and the whole 'white man government' thing — around, we find out that she is just another politician 'utilizing' (Showing with absolute blazing colors of un-hipness, her lack of 'connectedness' with anybody remotely associated with the American voting public), while using that 'World Wide' thing-a-ma-jiggy to its fullest capacity. (Please, give us a little more credit, and a major effing break!)

Anywho, if you need to go vote, you can do it at Hillary Clinton's 'Pick A Song (and, Maybe Find Out What I Stand For') website. But, even if you don't vote, you should go and see what songs the collective voting 'WE' think are 'IT'. Guaranteed: You will only be disappointed. How disappointed? Would you believe that your 'Final Choices' are between KT Tunstall (Who the effin', friggin' hell is KT Tunstall?) [G informs me that she knows KT. She, apparently, has a song on the Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack. What are the chances that somebody in the Clinton 'Camp' may have plugged into that popular program by accident? And, hell, for that matter, what about something from Ursula 1000?], Shania Twain (Nuf' sayd!), U2 (Hey! We're not an American band!), The Temptations (Because Hillary's down with all music, homes. And the 'kids' LOVE their new stuff — if they even know who they are!), and, that effin' band Smashmouth (You know, from the 'Shrek' movie!)

Below, are songs that I think could stand up against any of them. Enjoy, and, okay, vote when it's time. (For somebody with a cool song!)

•••

Who Can You Trust
Coney Island Whitefish
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Album)

Roadrunner
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Good Music)

A.C.D.C.
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Sinner)

Do You Want To Touch Me (Oh Yeah)
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Bad Reputation)

And, my personal favorite (and what politician couldn't be telling the truth with this one?),

Bad Reputation
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Bad Reputation)

I Can Travel Decades In My Space-Age Esquivels!

Whatever you're servan' is good by me (as long as it's hyphenated)!

Donald's Serva-teria
Pratt, Kansas
Bringin' the Smorgasbord into the future!(?)

•••

If you don't know (Juan Garcia) Esquivel — then slip on into your time-machine, mix yourself an Appletini — and hold onto your hats, while you travel through this wild world, man!

Mini Skirt
(Buy: Esquivel: Esquivel 1968!!)

Now, Dude, where's my flying car?

•••

Cachita
Cachito
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
(Buy: Esquivel: Music from a Sparkling Planet)

You Were Born. And So You're Free.

You know, that I know, that you know, that there is not a cooler 60 year old out there.

Laurie Anderson
Born, Free: June 5, 1947
Glen Ellyn, Illinois

•••

About 15 years ago, I walked by Laurie Anderson at a crosswalk in Soho. Nothing else happened. She has given the world her music. What else could you want? I gave her her privacy.

So, Happy Birthday.

•••

Sweaters
Born, Never Asked
O Superman (For Massenet)
It Tango
(Buy: Laurie Anderson: Big Science)

The Island Where I Come From
Pieces And Parts
Here With You
Life On A String
(Buy: Laurie Anderson: Life On A String)

Take Me Down To A Place In Surf City — Where The Sand Is Warm, and The Girls Are Pretty — Take Me Down

Mushi Muscle Beaching

Your's Truly
Surf City, New Jersey
1962

•••

If another person bitches to me about the weather, ...

(I love the ellipsis. It might be the best device to avoid having to write what you really don't want to write about anyway.)

Well, if you don't like the weather here, then take a little trip in your mind. But, don't forget to lotion up!

"I said the beach be one of the best things we got,
Where it's not what you have on but what you not.
And I want that stink and I want that sweat,
In fact the beach be better than most things get.
In fact the beach be one of the best things we got.
Where it's not what you have on but what you have not.

Cruddy sugar lemonade, but I love people when they're on parade,
And the beach be one of the best things we got.
Where it's not what you have on, it's what you have not."
— 'The Beach', Jonathon Richman

•••

The Beach
(Buy & enjoy more: Jonathan Richman: Rockin' And Romance)

All Summer Long
(Buy: The Beach Boys: American Graffiti: Original Soundtrack)

Catch A Wave
(Buy: The Beach Boys: The Warmth Of The Sun)

Castles In The Sand
(Buy: Jimi Hendrix: Axis: Bold As Love)

Sun Is Shining
(Buy: Toshinori Kondo & DJ Krush: Ki-Oku )

Lovely Day
(Buy: Bill Withers: Menagerie)

•••

There! Aren't you feeling better already?

Hot, Big Damn Nation!

Photograph from 'The Impossible Tasks' Portfolio
© 2007 Cig Harvey

•••

Three things (among a plethora of other things, not to be mentioned here for brevity) that I consider to kick arse.

1. The photography of Cig Harvey.

Sure, she's a friend but, her photography still kicks it!

2. The music of The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band.

To quote Mike Breen, of the Cincinnati City Beat (Am I really going to quote somebody from the big 'O-HI-O'? You betcha'!)

"Rousing, hyper, and authentic brand of blues that sounds like what might come out of that secret meth lab nestled deep in the backwaters of the Mississippi Delta."

(Go meth labs! And, the Mississippi Delta! And, to The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band's website!)

3. This beautiful damn day!

Time for more gardening! Later, gators!

•••

My Old Man Boogie
Long Gone
(Buy: The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band: Big Damn Nation)

Money Can't Buy You Love — But, It Will Allow You To Purchase Everything Else (And, Probably Even Love) — Who Am I Kidding?

Excellent!

R. Murdy (Doing his best Mr. Burns impersonation).
Photograph © Gary Voth-Microsoft, via Associated Press
(via New York Times)

•••

"As we have been since 1902, the Bancroft family remains resolute in its commitment to preserve and protect the editorial independence and integrity of The Wall Street Journal as well as the leadership, strength and vitality of The Journal and all of the other publications and services of Dow Jones.

Since first receiving the News Corporation proposal, the family has carefully considered and discussed among ourselves and with our advisers how best to achieve that overarching objective while serving the best interests of the company’s various constituencies.

After a detailed review of the business of Dow Jones and the evolving competitive environment in which it operates, the family has reached consensus that the mission of Dow Jones may be better accomplished in combination or collaboration with another organization, which may include News Corporation.

Accordingly, the family has advised the company’s board that it intends to meet with News Corporation to determine whether, in the context of the current or any modified News Corporation proposal, it will be possible to ensure the level of commitment to editorial independence, integrity and journalistic freedom that is the hallmark of Dow Jones.

The family also indicated its receptivity to other options that might achieve the same overarching objective.

There can be no assurance that the dialogue with News Corporation or any other party will result in the negotiation, or the desire of family members to purse the negotiation, and execution of any agreement regarding the company or in any transaction. References herein to the Bancroft family are to various individual family members and trusts for the benefit of family members. Ultimate voting and dispositive power with respect to the shares of the company held or controlled by such individuals and trusts resides with those individuals and the trustees of the trusts."
— Bancroft Family Statement (Regarding the sale of Dow Jones & Company, which — I was shocked to find out, and am embarrassed to admit — is private effing owned company; which, apparently, now has it's eyes on the big canvas bags with the dollar signs on them.)

Apparently, (the right amount of) money really does change everything.

•••

It's All About The Benjamins
(Buy: (P. Puffy Daddy) Diddy (& the Family): No Way Out)

I'm The Slime
(Buy: Frank Zappa: Over-Nite Sensation)

And, if you download just one song this year, make it this one ...

He Was A Big Freak
(Buy: Betty Davis: They Say I'm Different)