My American Idol — Saint Joan of Art
The Honorary Ms. Joan Jett
Warped Tour 2006
July 14, 2006
Nampa, Idaho
Photograph ©Otto Kitsinger|Performance Photography
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Just don't ask me to vote — for this!
"Your votes narrowed down the list of choices, and we added your top suggestions. Vote in the final round of our campaign song contest — and don't miss the latest video."
What is this from? The latest call to the best use of cellphones for placing your votes with Dancing With the Stars or American Idol? Well, sort of. You see — in the great tradition of taking mediocre songs and hoping to personify them into a national call to action (i.e. The hellacious pairings of Bill Clinton & Fleetwood Mac: 'Don't Stop', Arnold Schwarzenegger and that pitiful Twisted Sister, Dee Snider: 'We're Not Gonna Take It', Ronald Reagan using 'Born in the USA', or George W. Bush and Van Halen's 'Right Now'!? Holy Shite! These might easiest be the worst songs ever done by any of those bands! You can read more about this here.) — Ms. Clinton would like you to select her 'song'.
You know, just when you thought that a woman could step up and turn the White House — and the whole 'white man government' thing — around, we find out that she is just another politician 'utilizing' (Showing with absolute blazing colors of un-hipness, her lack of 'connectedness' with anybody remotely associated with the American voting public), while using that 'World Wide' thing-a-ma-jiggy to its fullest capacity. (Please, give us a little more credit, and a major effing break!)
Anywho, if you need to go vote, you can do it at Hillary Clinton's 'Pick A Song (and, Maybe Find Out What I Stand For') website. But, even if you don't vote, you should go and see what songs the collective voting 'WE' think are 'IT'. Guaranteed: You will only be disappointed. How disappointed? Would you believe that your 'Final Choices' are between KT Tunstall (Who the effin', friggin' hell is KT Tunstall?) [G informs me that she knows KT. She, apparently, has a song on the Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack. What are the chances that somebody in the Clinton 'Camp' may have plugged into that popular program by accident? And, hell, for that matter, what about something from Ursula 1000?], Shania Twain (Nuf' sayd!), U2 (Hey! We're not an American band!), The Temptations (Because Hillary's down with all music, homes. And the 'kids' LOVE their new stuff — if they even know who they are!), and, that effin' band Smashmouth (You know, from the 'Shrek' movie!)
Below, are songs that I think could stand up against any of them. Enjoy, and, okay, vote when it's time. (For somebody with a cool song!)
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Who Can You Trust
Coney Island Whitefish
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Album)
Roadrunner
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Good Music)
A.C.D.C.
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Sinner)
Do You Want To Touch Me (Oh Yeah)
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Bad Reputation)
And, my personal favorite (and what politician couldn't be telling the truth with this one?),
Bad Reputation
(Buy: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Bad Reputation)
