Thursday, May 31, 2007

Goodbye, To The Ephemeral May, Fly



Mayfly (Insect order: Ephemeroptera)
One day, in May.

•••

The fly
Of May
It lives
One day.

When that day is done
The MayFly does not complain.
It flies into the setting sun.
It goes back to the place
From which it came.

The fly
Of May.

Ask how
Ask why
One day
MayFly.
That's all
You get.
You give
No thought
To it.

Me, my life is long
With reasons few like you.
When I go and when I'm gone
I will understand these things
I never knew.

The fly
Of May.

One day one day one day one day
It's long enough
If you really think about it.

The fly
Of May
It lives
One day.

•••

MayFly
How We Quit The Forest
(Buy: Rasputina: How We Quit The Forest)

And, this, from Vodafone — where you can make yourself into a mayfly — for a day. (Sure, the mayfly as shill, but it's still cute.)



And, speaking of commercials (sans shilling), this:

Diamond Mind
(Buy: Rasputina: How We Quit The Forest)

There Is No Place Like Aum (or, Broadway)


Good Grief!

•••

The little round headed kid and his dog.
Charles M. Schulz

•••

"I'm trying to get my life together."

This was the subject heading of a blanket e-mail I received the other day, due to the fact that I signed my name to a mailing list 2 years ago. I really have to be more careful about signing up for things.

And, I hope that you can figure your life out. (Or, have a really good time trying!)

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'” — Charlie Brown, "Peanuts"

"If you feel that you are not enlightened, you can always try to be."Harish Johari (Friggin' brilliant, HarJo!)

•••

Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin': Music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II (Singer: John Raitt), Oklahoma!

I Got the Sun in the Morning: Music and lyrics by Irving Berlin (Singer: Doris Day), Annie Get your Gun

Tomorrow: Music by Charles Strouse, lyrics by Martin Charnin (Singer: Andrea McArdle), Annie

Put On a Happy Face: Music by Charles Strouse, lyrics by Lee Adams (Singer: Dick VanDyke) Bye Bye Birdie
(Buy: Greatest Hits of Broadway)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I Promise, No More Dog Pictures For A While (Unless They're Really Cute. Which They All Are.)


He ain't nothing but a lawn dog.

Nature Boy
Yesterday
The Rock

•••

Sorry 'bout that. I just wanted to add this song to yesterday's selection.

•••

Hound Dog: Big Mama Thornton
(Buy: In Europe: Big Mama Thornton with Muddy Waters' Blues Band)

Monday, May 28, 2007

La Vita Musicale Dolce di un Cane


The Sweet Musical Life of a dog (as Erik Satie).

Marcel Duchamp
Memorial Day
The Rock

All dogs must have their day, and today, Marcel is having his.

With the excitement of being allowed to express his respect in honor (and memory) of his favorite musicians, he donned his favorite bowler and, proceeded to regale us with a few 0f his favorite musical numbers — which I will share with you — below.

Who's your best friend, man?

•••

Preludes Flasques (Pour un chien) - I Voix d'interieur
Preludes Flasques (Pour un chien) - II Chanson canine
Preludes Flasques (Pour un chien) - III Avec camaraderie
The Moog Synthesizer with The Camarata Contemporary Chamber Orchestra: The Electronic Spirit of Erik Satie
(via: WFMU Beware of the Blog)

And, here's 4 more, for a little canine coda.

Kidz Are So Small: Deerhoof
(Buy: Friend Opportunity)

Stoned To The Bone, Part 1: James Brown
(Buy: Star Time)

Spikee
Dogman Go Woof: Underworld
(via: The White Noise Revisited)

Saturday, May 26, 2007

One (Inter)Nation(al) Under The Groovy


Wabi-sabi, baby!


Okay, this post isn't much different from yesterday's but, (this time the picture is not of me, and,) it is in Japanese. Here's three, from a 1971 Japanese recording of Hair: The American Tribal Love Rock Musical.

These come by way of Jersey City, New Jersey's own WFMUBeware of the Blog — my favorite radio/on-line connection for things gathered from the nether regions of the musical world, and beyond. (Warning: Make sure you visit when you have nothing else to do, BOTB may be addictive.)

•••

I Got Life
Hair
Walking In Space

Doumo arigatou. Yoi ichinichi o!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Lest I Forget (I'd Like To Wish You A Good Weekend)



Fly that flag on the ferry, FREAK!

It's because somebody fought somebody, that I'm able to let my freak flag fly. Or, that's what somebody who fought — would tell somebody like myself — who doesn't believe in such fighting.

Have a great weekend, on whichever side of this issue you may stand. (And, 'Don't Drink and Drive!')

•••

'You know kids, I wish every mom and dad would make a speech to their teenagers and say, "Kids, be free, be whatever you are, do whatever you want to do, just so long as you don't hurt anybody. And, remember kids, I am your friend."

I would just like to say that it is my conviction
That longer hair and other flamboyant affectations
Of appearance are nothing more
Than the male's emergence from his drab camouflage
Into the gaudy plumage
Which is the birthright of his sex

There is a peculiar notion that elegant plumage
And fine feathers are not proper for the male
When actually
That is the way things are
In most species'

My Conviction, from Hair: The American Tribal Love Rock Musical Lyrics: Gerome Ragni + James Rado

•••

'Om mane padme om
On mane padme om
Folding the flag means taking care of the nation.
Folding the flag is putting it to bed for the night.
I fell through a hole in the flag
I'm falling through a hole in the flag
Help!

Don't put it down
Best one around
Crazy for the red blue and white
Crazy for the red blue and white

You look at me
What do you see
Crazy for the white red and blue
Crazy for the white red and blue

Cause I look different
You think I'm subversive
Crazy for the blue white and red
Crazy for the blue white and red

My heart beats true
For the red white and blue
Crazy for the blue white and red
Crazy for the blue white and red
And yellow fringe
Crazy for the blue white red and yellow'

Don't Put It Down, from Hair: The American Tribal Love Rock Musical Lyrics: Gerome Ragni + James Rado

•••

I Got Life
My Conviction
Walking In Space

And one for good measure, and Memorial Day (or Patriot's Day, or Patriot Day, or Veteran's Day, or Flag Day, or whatever the holiday is that you celebrate your life — which should be everyday, babies!)

Don't Put It Down

(Buy: Hair: The American Tribal Love Rock Musical – The Original Broadway Cast Recording (1968))

Saturday, May 19, 2007

The Law Is The Law. What's Your Weapon Of Choice?


"I consider the ownership of arms not only a right, but the duty of a free people to themselves and future generations." – Dan, from 'Armed America' (What maybe concerns me more, is Dan's collection of Domino's boxes in the corner of his little white, gun-laden room.)

Portrait from 'Armed America'
Photographs by Kyle Cassidy

•••

On the Friday morning ferry, I sat down in front of a man reading the a 2007 Gun Guide — a catalog of fire arms from the dainty Derringer to the (should never be used anywhere but war, and even to that note, there should be no war) AK-47. (Another side note to that: I'm sure that there were bigger guns in that guide also, but just the fact that somebody was reading this on my usually quiet and peaceful morning commute, may have distracted me from the plethora of other weapons of choice.)

Anywho ...

We were talking about guns (I was WAYYY out of my league here, but you've got to be social on the boat, you know) and where the hell one might use such devices — when he turned to a particular page showing knock-down/put-together models of some type of rifle.

"Where would one ever use something like that?" I asked, a little mockingly, because, (Sheez!) I can understand the right to hunt for deer and moose, and occasional squirrel (An island thing, which I REALLY DON'T understand), but, this was a compact, 'assemble-it-as-you-need-it' firearm. "Really!" I continued, "Really! Where in the hell could you justify needing that?"

"Pilots use them when they get shot down behind enemy lines. It's easy to build, and they get to protect themselves," he responded, without a hint of sarcasm.

"Behind enemy lines?"

"Yeah. You know, when their planes get shot down."

"What the hell have you been watching?" I asked, laughing, as I turned to pour another cap of coffee from my thermos, and to find something else to distract me from our further discussions of wartime weaponry and tactics.

"It's true," he said, leaning over my shoulder, getting in the last word.

I let him have it — plugged in my Shuffle — and wrote this down.

•••

"Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?"

"It's me belt."

"No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?"

"It's for protection."

"Protection from what? "Zee" Germans? What's to stop it blowing your bollocks off when you sit?"

– Dialogue between Turkish and Tommy, 'Snatch' (2000)

•••

"The question of gun ownership in America is a fractious one. Even the number of guns in the country is in significant debate. The National Rifle Association (NRA), the country's largest pro-gun lobbying group, quotes the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (BATFE)'s estimate that in 1999 there were about 215,000,000 guns in America and one gun in about half of the households in the country. The Brady Campaign (the nation's leading anti-gun coalition) estimates there are 192,000,000 guns in America, owned by 39% of the population.

This isn't a book about guns. It's a book about people.

Whether it's 39% or 50% of Americans, it's still an awful lot of people. I started wondering just who they were, what they looked like, and how they lived. Such was the genesis of Armed America: Portraits of American Gun Owners in Their Homes. The idea was to photograph a hundred gun owners, in their homes, and do a gallery show. I figured this would take about two years. But very soon after I started, it became evident that my ambitions were too low. My mailbox flooded with letters from people I didn't know wanting to participate – I realized that I could probably photograph a hundred people in two months, but it wasn't a number of people that was important, it was their stories – a cowboy in Texas, a survivalist in Montana, a deer hunter in Pennsylvania, a sheriff in Georgia, a soldier in Idaho.... What I really needed, I realized, was to get moving, to drive across the country and find America somewhere between here and there."
– Kyle Cassidy, Introduction from 'Armed America'

•••

Fleming: "I was born and raised 12 miles down the road from where Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were ambushed and killed – this was in 1935. As a result of that incident, Northern Louisiana gained a reputation for being a very violent part of the world. And indeed, everybody – that I knew anyway – had at least two guns; a shotgun, and a .22 rifle. But these weapons were looked upon mostly as implements for harvesting food, mutch like you do with hoes, rakes, shovels, and things like that. Because they were used to take wild game. And in a country at that time where there was no electricity, no trains to speak of, you couldn't buy anything. If you didn't grow it or kill it yourself, you didn't eat. So everybody that I new of, went out to hunt for food and shells were expensive – it was on the edge of the depression, shortly before World War II and people learned to practice gun economy, i guess you would say. People took care of guns, guns were cherished ... and you didn't mess with somebody's gun. They were used as something to acquire food. That was all they were used for. This business about people shooting each other – that has come about, I think, as a result of money being introduced into our culture. Some people didn't have any, and some people wanted some, so they went out an "liberated" it."

Jean: "I hate guns. Don't get me started."
Jean and Fleming, from 'Armed America'

•••

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

– Jules, quoting Ezekiel 25-17, 'Pulp Fiction', (1994)

•••

In Our Gun
(Buy: Gomez: In Our Gun)

Elephant Gun
(Buy: Beirut: Lon Gisland EP)

Weapon Of Choice
(Buy: Fatboy Slim: Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars)

Weapon Of Choice
(Buy: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club: Baby 81)

Packin'
(Buy: Porno for Pyros: Porno for Pyros)

Ezekiel 25:17
(Buy: Pulp Fiction: Pulp Fiction: Music From The Motion Picture)

(And, for those of you that are free of arms.)
Pea
(Buy: Red Hot Chili Peppers: One Hot Minute)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Mother's Day — Better Belated Than Never



Did you know, that there are people out there who have never been complacent about war? Go ahead, ask your Mother.

War is Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Things
Lorraine Schneider (1925-1972)
1967


"For my Mother's Day gift this year,
I don't want candy or flowers.
I want an end to killing.

We who have given life
must be dedicated to preserving it.

Please talk peace."

Another Mother for Peace, Mother's Day card, 1967


"The most indelible, and doubtless the most positive of all protest images is Lorraine Schneider’s 1969 poster for the group Another Mother for Peace of a flower around which is scrawled the phrase “War is Not healthy for Children and Other Living Things.” The slogan, neither patriotic or unpatriotic, immediately became the mantra for the entire anti-Vietnam War movement. In fact Schneider’s poster had more widespread appeal than many of the satire and sometimes shocking graphics against war because it was void of sarcasm and irony and spoke simple truth to folly by addressing the devastating impact of all war on everyone of us, regardless of side."
(Steven Heller, via AIGA/NY)

•••

Fuck The Motherfucking President
(Buy: Witchypoo: A Slice Of Lemon)

Mother Where Is My Father?
(Buy: David Peel: Have a Marijuana)

Mother
(Buy: John Lennon: Shaved Fish)

And, a Bonus track (without a Mother reference):
The Fish Cheer/I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-to-Die Rag
(Buy: Country Joe McDonald: The Best Of Woodstock)

Saturday, May 12, 2007

I'm A Little Lost (But Not In A Bad Way)


"Here you see is the pedestal of a statue, with only half a leg and four toes remaining: there were many here once."

"Perfectibilians, deteriorationists, statu-quo-ites, phrenologists, transcendentalists, political economists, theorists in all sciences, projectors in all arts, morbid visionaries, romantic enthusiasts, lovers of music, lovers of the picturesque, and lovers of good dinners, march, and will march for ever, 'pari passu' with the march of mechanics, which some facetiously call the march of the intellect. The fastidious in old wine are a race that does not decay.

Literary violators of the confidences of private life still gain a disreputable livelihood and an unenviable notoriety. Match-makers from interest, and the disappointed in love and in friendship, are varieties of which specimens are extant. The great principle of the Right of Might is as flourishing now as in the days of Maid Marian: the array of false pretensions, moral, political, and literary, is as imposing as ever: the rulers of the world still feel things in their effects, and never foresee them in their causes: and political mountebanks continue, and will continue, to puff nostrums and practise legerdemain under the eyes of the multitude: following, like the "learned friend" of Crotchet Castle, a course as tortuous as that of a river, but in a reverse process; beginning by being dark and deep, and ending by being transparent."


Preface from 'Headlong Hall' (1815)
Written on March 4, 1837 by Thomas Love Peacock

•••

"The path of secrecy is a slippery slope. While necessity may dictate, at times, that we shade ourselves and out work from the all-too often harsh light of inquiry, habitual secret-keeping can mire even the noblest of intentions in shadow. It is this shadow I fell prey to, blinded not only to the action of colleagues like Dr. Thomas Werner Mittelwerk, but also to the works of my own hand.

I fear the lessons learned have cost many their happiness. Some few have even lost their lives. My regret for this is endless. But, I assure you now, as I did then, that the work of The Hanso Foundation has always been intended to bring rebirth to a dying land and a dying people.

Our methods must change. As of this moment, The Hanso Foundation enters a period of restructure and overhaul. Transparency and oversight will be our guiding principles, excellence in communication and response to feedback our greatest strengths. To save humanity, we need first tap into just that — our humanity.

Much time has passed — perhaps too much. Thanks to the tireless efforts of my daughter, Rachel Blake, and a worldwide movement set against the dark entity that was Thomas Mittelwerk's regime, I have been exonerated and freed of imprisonment. Thanks to the grace and foresight of the Global Welfare Consortium, we at The Hanso Foundation have been given a second chance to build a future that can support, enrich, and cradle us all in peace and joy.

It is to this I dedicate my life and my Foundation. My only hope is that you will join me."

Namaste


Statement from Alvar Hanso
The Hanso Foundation

(I personally don't care if they (the writers of 'LOST') have this thing figured out or not. In a way, the end (and, the answers) can (or, will) be hardly as entertaining as the journey along the way.)

•••

Lost Message
(Buy: Air: Pocket Symphony)

A Little Lost
(Buy: Arthur Russell: The World of Arthur Russell)

I Got Lost
(Buy: Dinosaur Jr: Beyond)

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

What A Girl Wants, (Is Only) What A Girl Gets


Look all you want — but if they don't want — you ain't gettin'!

The Girl Watcher
June 1959
Copyright 1959 by Bonanza Publishing Co., Inc.
(via Vintage Girlwatchers)


Grrrls, grrrls grrrls!

They love you. They hate you. They love you. They bait you.

Grrrrrrrrrls!

•••

The old,

Do You Want to Touch Me?
(Buy: Joan Jett and The Blackhearts: Fit To Be Tied: Greatest Hits)

the new,

Nestle in My Boobies
(Buy: The Coathangers: Ladies of Leisure)

Dirty Song
(Buy: Cars Can Be Blue: All the Stuff We Do)

and, the (un)real deal — with a side of Lemmy.

Stand By Your Man
(Buy: Wendy O. Williams: from, Wendy And Lemmy (7" single, 1982).
(Good luck finding this one.)

Sunday, May 06, 2007

The Horror. The Horror. (The Horoscopes, That Is.)


Well, it's a good thing I only have one.

Fortune cookies (above) and canned personality generalizations — that's what makes life worth living.

'There is a burning restlessness inside you that is activated because you don't feel as if you are fulfilling your life's destiny. You may have a sudden insight that you have a much greater purpose in this lifetime than what you are currently doing. Explore this idea, and see what you can do to move toward this great desire that comes from deep within. This is the perfect time to put large, long-term goals into action.'
(My horoscope for some day in April, when, really, I was really feeling this way. Oh, wait, I felt that way yesterday, also. And, a bit like that today. Oh, man, I don't see tomorrow looking much different.)

Oh, wait!

Today is the first day of the rest of you life! (Sure, I know that that's a bit cliche, but it sure beats the last fortune I received, which read, "You will get some clothes." (Jevus! What? Do they save up all the shite fortunes for the island take-out orders? Or, has the whole fortune cookie business just given up on creativity and inspiration?)

Oh, wait! I have one.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life!

•••

I Want Everything
(Buy: Cracker: Kerosene Hat)

Tristeza {Goodbye Sadness}
(Buy: Astrud Gilberto: Rhythm Of The Tropics Volume 2)

(Who needs cookies? At a minute-thirty, Walter Wanderley brings more joy then any cookie could deliver — just give it a listen!)

All Good? [Can 7 Supermarket Remix]
(Buy: De La Soul Featuring Chaka Khan : Stereo Sushi 2 [Disc 2])

Saturday, May 05, 2007

C'è il sole & Sabato!


Oggi a mia, dumani a tia, semu tutti 'n cumpagnia.

And I've got clothes to hang, gardens to rake, and, oh yeah, I've got to finish tiling the bathroom. (But, I can do that tonight!)

Get outside and play!

Buona Giornata!

•••

Until I'm Ready
(Buy & enjoy more: Halsey Burgund: Aesthetic Evidence)

Why Does The Sun Shine? (The Sun Is A Mass Of Incandecent Gas)
(Buy: They Might Be Giants: Why Does The Sun Shine? [EP])

Sun Is Shining
(Buy: Bob Marley & The Wailers: Kaya)

Surfin'
(Buy: Ernest Ranglin: Surfin')

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Yo, Cornelli! My Porcine Detumescence Is Digging Your Meaty Bloviations



MC Supersize and his Cowgirls.
Popaganda®: The Art and Crimes of Ron English

But, hey, did you just try to call us fat pigs? (Or, am I just one of those average Americans that don't quite get the meaning of 'dem big ole' college-priced words?)

To quote Inigo Montoya, "I do not think it means what you think it means."

•••

You're The One For Me, Fatty
(Buy: Morrissey: Your Arsenal)

The Freed Pig
(Buy: Sebadoh: Sebadoh III)

Gluttony (The Bloody Beetroots Remix)
(Buy: Hostage: Sins EP)

Common People
(Buy: William Shatner: Has Been)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Word To Your Mother! (Earth, That Is)



Lookin' Good, Mama!

Brustbild Gaia
Paul Klee
1939

It's sunny out, tulips, crocus, and the hint of day lilies have finally made their way out of the soil (hopefully without the return of a snow covering), and it's Earth Day.

So, turn off all your shite, go outside, and enjoy the Earth (and, your day)!

•••

Whole Wide World
(Buy: Wreckless Eric: Wreckless Eric)

Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part 3
(Buy: Ian Dury & The Blockheads: Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll: Best Of Ian Dury & The Blockheads)

Friday, April 20, 2007

Say It Loud, Say It Proud! It's Here, Tain't Beer (Or, Twisted Tea, Unbelievably), Git You'st To It!


Although, I believe, Twisted Tea cans are still No. 1 in the preferred 'Roadside Trash of The Rock.' (As personally evidenced by the two dozen flattened cans I have picked up from this past seasons walk-abouts.)

The Fisherman's Friend
The Rock, Maine
April 2007

Some things just make you proud to be an American (Mainer). And some just make you cringe. This little bit of news, apparently almost as important as any other pressing global topics of the day, makes me do a little of both.

"When it comes to spirits, coffee brandy remains Mainers' libation of choice.
State sales figures for last year show that Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy remains by far the top-selling brand of liquor in the state, just as it's been every year for more than a decade. Nearly 994,000 bottles worth $11.9 million were sold in four different bottle sizes in Maine in 2006.

Allen's is so popular that its different bottle sizes rank first, second, sixth and ninth on the Maine Bureau of Alcoholic Beverages and Lottery Operations list of the top 25 alcoholic items sold last year. Allen's is the only brand that appears more than once in the top 10.

Coffee-flavored brandy is something of a New England specialty and is not well-known outside the region. Allen's is made by family-owned M.S. Walker Inc. of Somerville, Mass. (On who's site, you'd be hard pressed to find ANY mention of they're No. 1 seller in Maine, because they only deal with "Fine Wines & Spirits Since 1933.")

The dark-colored liquor that's been called "the champagne of Maine," while immensely popular, is also associated with the state's substance abuse troubles. (Really? Alcohol and substance abuse? Trouble?)

A decade ago, state Superior Court Judge Robert Crowley was quoted as saying the brand "is very prevalent in the criminals who come before me. I don't know whether brandy is more bang for your buck but it runs the gamut.

"I see it in bar fights, domestic assaults, drunk driving, and worse crimes."

— Associated Press, via MaineToday.

With the predicted price of bait (Which, apparently, Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy was once used to store. Although, highly unlikely.) and gas this year — and some of the lobstermen already forecasting the leanest lobster season in years — my guess is that we're in for another record-breaker next year! (And, maybe a few more "bar fights, domestic assaults, drunk driving, and worse crimes.")

One more cup of coffee (flavored brandy) for the road?

•••

(Sorry, couldn't locate any songs regaling (or even mentioning) Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy — yet!)

Java Jive
(Buy: The Ink Spots: The Ink Spots [Decca])

The Coffee Song
(Buy: Frank Sinatra: Ring-A-Ding Ding!)

If You've Got the Money (I've Got the Time)
(Buy: Merle Haggard: Roots: Volume 1)

North American Scum
(Buy: LCD Soundsystem: The Sound Of Silver)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

"Weather Like A Steven King Novel"


And that's a direct quote. (Although, the misspelling of the author's name is totally the fault of The Weather Channel, which, since yesterday, they have corrected.)

"It's Like The Storm Of The Century."
Ellis Island, Maine
April 16, 2007

What I assumed, when I first read this headline, was that the storm was going to be just like the one's we've seen a dozen times before, that it would go on forever, traveling into regions we know it should not be traveling — with some gratuitous violence and death, and littered with some clever, semi-appropriate lyrics from some 1980's ACDC songs that would hopefully fill in the blanks (and give it some Rock & Roll/Metal edge) — only to conclude with a flock of birds, a spider, or an exhausted, unbelievable sigh. But, I was wrong. (Or, was I? And who really cares? Because the weather, like Stephen King novels, will keep on coming. The sooner we realize that we have no control of it, the getter.)

But, it was the observation and reaction to these (the weather, not another book, yet, I don't think, but I'm probably wrong about that) events that got me going today.

There's no accounting for the stupidity of random clichéd quotes from behind the wheel of drivers (during a storm that is knocking down trees and electrical wires, and blowing roofs off of buildings). But, rest assured that the clichéd reporter standing in that same torrential downpour, will add a few winners of their own clichéd atmospheric alliterations to round out a stellar weather report. (You can watch it yourself, here.)

Or, you can enjoy an alliterated collection of clichéd climatic classics below.

•••

Stormy Weather
(Buy: Dinah Washington: Classic American Music: Les Plus Grandes Voix Du Jazz)

Stop Your Sobbing
(Buy: Jonathan Richman: This Is Where I Belong: The Songs of Ray Davies)

Something Stupid
(Buy: Robbie William with Nicole Kidman: Swing When You're Winning)

Super Stupid
(Buy: Funkadelic: Maggot Brain)

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Goodbye Jesus ...


and Smokin' Bunny, and Ernie Ball, and Lil' Reaper — and, especially you, little ASS sticker — I'll miss you most of all.

Blackie's Farewell
The day of his big trade-in.
2007

Cars are the Devil's henchmen (or women, if your so inclined to name yours likewise). But, we all have our cars to bear, and Blackie (a 1996 Volkswagen Jetta) was mine. He was a good car (as far as an inanimate object with a given name can be), and got me where I needed to be (most of the time). But, lately, he had been ailing (in ways that only large amounts of money could have cured), making the parting of our ways all too imminent.

Now, this would all be the makings of a sad story if, (A) We were talking about a human life (and not another friggin' automobile!), (B) He (Blackie) didn't sound like a Panzer tank barreling down the street (I don't even really know what the hell a Panzer tank sounds like, but, I imagine that it's really loud, don't you?), and (C) He was not the spawn of Satan. But, he had become (or, always was) all of the above.

But, he had great stickers. And that is what, in the end — with all the rust, the loudness, the erratic starting, and the overflow of flotsam and jetsam from too many a beach-combing adventure (That last part is entirely my fault! Sorry for blaming that one on you, Blackie.) — is what I will miss the most. He had great stickers. (One in particular was a personal favorite of mine, and a source of endless giggling for many of G's students. "Ms. G, why does Mushi's car have an 'ASS' sticker on it?")

Blackie is now out of my life. (G and I made the trek over to the mainland last weekend and did a little test-driving.) He has been traded in for a new vehicle. It's (Gender and name yet to be determined) different. And, black. (My only criteria, being the anti-motorhead I am. I mean, Jeez!, I don't even know why they make cars in any other color!). But, I'll get used to it. (And try to keep the sticks, stones, and beach debris out.)

Now, all I have to do is try to find some new stickers. I have a few in mind, but have a smaller area to work with with the new wheels. I'll have to pick wisely.

Any suggestions?

•••

Satan Is My Motor
(Buy: Cake: Prolonging The Magic)

Stickshifts And Safetybelts
(Buy: Cake: Fashion Nugget)

Swing Low, Sweet Cadillac
(Buy: Dizzie Gillespie: The Roots Of Acid Jazz)

Brand New Cadillac
(Buy: The Clash: London Calling)

Sunday, April 08, 2007

What Sarah Silverman Says, Is True! (As Though You Had Any Reasons To Doubt Her In The First Place)



JESUS IS MAGIC!

Jesus rises from the cave wearing a rabbit suit — slays the warring factions, and brings forth a bevy of colored eggs (For Christians the egg is a symbol of Jesus' resurrection, as when they are cracked open they stand for the empty tomb. No-one actually knows when eggs were first used as symbols at festival times, but it was long before Jesus' time. (Or, around the same time they invented Mother's Day, Santa, Valentine's Day, etc. Thank you Hallmark!) Eggs were always thought to be special because although they do not seem alive, they have life within them especially at springtime when chicks hatch out. (Really, I didn't make ANY of that egg crap up!)) — forecasting six more weeks of Winter.

At least, that's the way I remember hearing about it. (Dates and stories may vary.)

•••

'You have probably noticed that the date for Resurrection Sunday ("Easter") varies considerably from one year to the next. This chosen date comes from a formula established by Roman Emperor Constantine the Great and the Council of Nicaea in A.D. 325. You can use the formula to verify the date for Resurrection Sunday each year.

First, find the vernal equinox, or first day of spring (about March 21-22), on a calendar that lists basic astronomical data. Then look for the next full moon, usually indicated in a corner box of the calendar. Resurrection Sunday will then fall on the following Sunday.

According to this rule, the latest possible date for Resurrection Sunday is April 25, next occurring in 2038. The earliest is March 22, in 2285. Most often, Resurrection Sunday comes during the first week of April.

For merchants, the changing date of Easter is inconvenient for their annual planning of sales and inventory. However, it is pleasing to realize that this special day is not determined by commerce but by the movements of the sun and moon. This agrees with the divinely ordained purpose of heavenly lights as markers for times and seasons. (Gen. 1:14).


Whatever! You know what? That mumbo-jumbo was barely worth copying and pasting let alone spending the time telling you where I even found it! So let's just forget we ever saw it and enjoy our candy and music (And six more weeks of Winter!).

Hoppy Easter, Peeps!

Mmmmmm, Peeps!

•••

White Rabbit
(Buy: Jefferson Airplane: Surrealistic Pillow)

Rise and Shine
(Buy: Polk Miller And The Old South Quartette: Music of the Old South)

Divine Intervention
(Buy: Matthew Sweet: Girlfriend)

The Golden Path
(Buy: The Chemical Brothers(with The Flaming Lips): Singles '93-'03 [Limited])

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Chocolate Jesus H. Christ, On a KitKat® Cross! (OU* Status Uncertain)


Ceci n'est pas une pipe de chocolat. (This is not a chocolate pipe.)


The Treachery Of Images (La trahison des images)
René François Ghislain Magritte (1898 - 1967)

•••

And this, is not Jesus. But, it is chocolate!

Let's try to keep a lid on our outrage. (I mean, jeezuz, it's not like Resurrection Eggs or anything that bad. Although, that Crucifixion Kit, hmmmm.)

*OU: Orthodox Union, of course!

•••

Chocolate Jesus
(Buy: Tom Waits: Mule Variations)

I'm Going Straight to Heaven
(Buy: MC 900ft. Jesus with DJ Zero: Hell With The Lid Off)